Katy Perry today will slip the surly bonds of earth, touch the face of god, and answer once and for all, how far will one woman go to get away from Russell Brand.

We are living in a timeline where Kanye West is a Nazi, and Katy Perry is an astronaut. Just think about that for a moment.

there’s no way

Ian Darlington, the crab who famously appeared on the front of The Prodigy’s 1997 album ‘Fat of the Land’, has died at the age of 35

All of the people that I see say that class size doesn't matter aren't teachers 🤣 Any teacher knows it makes a big difference if 3 out of 30 children are off one day. Imagine if you only had to teach 20 children rather than 30+. Massive difference!!!

Year 6 have 2 maths tests on a Wednesday. If one of the tests is 30 minutes and the other is 40 minutes and the marks are out of 40 and 35, then how many glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon does the teacher need to reach greater depth in relaxation? Show your working.

8:30pm the night before an exam, and there's still kids in school? Nah, I can't get on board with that I'm afraid.

Can’t wait for the newspaper headlines in 5 weeks’ time to read 🚨 28% OF CHILDREN LEAVE PRIMARY SCHOOL UNABLE TO READ 🚨 not knowing kids were marked wrong for answering questions like this (Clip from Dylan & Hayden - Teach Sleep Repeat Podcast’s pod ep: tinyurl.com/SATspodcast)

Good morning from an Avanti West Coast train where disabled passengers are being removed from their pre-existing seat reservations so that the cast of a TV show can sit together in one carriage. Makes you wonder if Avanti prioritise corporate bookings over disabled customers.

Tulisa Contostavlos reveals her N-Dubz bandmate Gordon ‘Fazer’ Lacey has helped her find a loophole that allows her to carry on selling disposable vapes at her vape store in Tower Hamlets. “All we had to do is register it as a charity shop,” she grinned

Disgraced TV chef Gregg Wallace is spotted waving his willy at startled motorists on the A229 near Maidstone. “My autism’s got really bad today!” he yelped

i once worked as a live-in nanny for 3 small kids in hawaii. the parents were burnt out and didn’t really like parenting. they had 2 nannies covering 7am-8pm 7 days a week. the dad worked a few hours a day and the mom didn’t work. years later i saw the dad had started a blog

Things in British grocery store that would send Americans into a coma

The video I hoped I’d never have to make. Your move Travelodge UK

As thousands of year 7s begin their journeys tomorrow, here’s some thoughts from someone who is a former year 6 teacher, current secondary school teacher and transition coordinator 🧵🪡

Movies that can only be watched on a 2004 Chevrolet Tahoe's built-in DVD player

Psalm 46:1 - God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

This is something everyone needs to hear today.

Guys... someone sent me this last night & I burst out laughing. Enjoy

Rupert Lowe MP This is you from a few months ago threatening to sue someone for calling you a racist Rupert: