New Joker movie looks insane

silent mode off? more like loud mode on

Going to the MTV VMAs in 1998? Perks of being The Wallflowers

I enjoy trees, grass and other things of that nature

The Ikea Monkey parody account I just started isn't gaining any traction.

You have to get up pretty early in the morning to catch me waking up at 4:30 AM.

So the Leafs can walk around naked in their dressing room and it's fine, but as soon as I do it everyone acts like its some big deal.

Not being able to retweet your own stuff is total bullshit.

Mute not lest ye be muted.

I think if Bob Newhart had Twitter it might go, a little something, like this.

Low key using the term 'low key' incorrectly.

I'm not a tweeter I just draft a lot.

Nobody tells me what to skinnamarinky do

The bank teller said the manager would have to process my transaction, but I think they were just passing the buck.

Oh when I was a kid I had it rough I tell ya. My parents signed me up for day camp - they made me go at night.

*on the phone* Me: Hello, Mr. Berman? Me: Hi Shelly, do you mind if I borrow your format? Me: For a tweet Me: Whats a tweet you say? Well it

Philosophers are just a bunch of why's guys

My gut tells me I could be in better shape

People always knock The Doors because they're easy to slam