Sharing Gammon swatches

“We worked in shipbuilding until our hands bled to feed our families, what do you do?” “Well here’s one of my tweets I printed off about Nicola Sturgeon.”

Trying to find my way out of George Galloway’s arse

A match made in heaven 🤔

👀

Get it right up me, that’s what I say

Me soothing Ruth Davidson earlier after she lost the vote. “Easy girl.”

And so in summary, superglue is not a good substitute for hand cream. Thank you for listening to this Ted Talk.

🤷‍♂️

My mouth is so small here. Could barely get a grape in that day. #smallmouthsyndrome #weegub #tinymooth #grapes

Gammons my Gammons. *stands on desk and salutes*

*BONG* Gammon joins other gammons for big gammony thing.

I insist they follow me everywhere with a blue screen so I can add CGI flapping to my hair later. It’s in my NewsGB contract too.

My first day on GBNews was a bit “Klany” but I was assured it’s the standard issue uniform.

The Scottish Tories had a single idea and I was asked to help move it to a safe place. It was so fragile it fell apart immediately but we tried 🤷‍♂️

New podcast is out 🇬🇧

Cold, dead, lifeless, prehistoric lumps of stone. 👀

Fuck sake

“My fevered suckling at the Great British teat continues unabashed. I’m Neil Oliver and welcome to GB News.” My opening monologue.