Possibly the world's sexiest apple.

If life seems a bit shit, play this and it might not bob mortimer youtu.be/_iulP1Txafs?si…

Some quite spectacular multiple square bracket action from The Guardian's Ed Aarons. Showboat.

Paul Gascoigne says he was once dropped from the England team by Glenn Hoddle for making a joke about his Christianity. Gazza said: "When he told me he had found God, I said, 'F*** me, that must have been one hell of a pass."

It's not the confused and powerless frustration of forgetting why you entered the room, it's the crushing disappointment of remembering and it was barely worth doing so in the first place.

She'll have revenge on the old by fucking over the dead.

Not Peter Kay or owt, but can whoever's in charge please put jokes back on ice lolly sticks?

Trump in Leningrad, circa 1987. His head is still there, circa 2025

Shawn Ryan Show Because taking over probably isn't their mission. If we ever happened to discover a planet full of aggressive and acquisitive apes about to blow themselves up spectacularly, damn right we're sending drones there to livestream the event. What if those apes are us?

Ron Smith “To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.” ― Theodore Roosevelt JD Vance

For the Smithsonian’s new MAGA collection. “Self Portrait With An Ear Bandage”

🚨BREAKING: Brand new images emerge of BOXES of classified documents improperly stored in the Maryland home of former national security adviser John Bolton! Whoops, sorry no. This was Mar-a-Lago.

lol

£49.18 is the standard weekly allowance for asylum seekers. It's reduced to £9.95 if meals are included with accommodation. You need a national insurance number to claim benefits or work. Asylum seekers do not have one. No free phone (or Ipads). Occasionally, sims, or recycled

That bit on the train where you're reaching the station and yours stood nearest the door button. It's not flashing or beeping yet, but you give it a couple of pushes anyway, to reassure the people behind you that you're at least on this planet.

imagine not finishing your term LOL

Did Donald Trump Die Today?

Sarah Ransom was brought to Epstein through Maxwell and forced into repeated abuse. In court, she said: “I was nothing more than a sex toy with a heartbeat.” She later revealed emails saying sex with Clinton, Prince Andrew, and others was filmed by Epstein. She retracted those