Don't know what to say in a conversation? Try, "It's always something!" Applicable in literally any scenario.

Woke: kicking sarah huckabee Sanders out of your restaurant Bespoke: inviting Stephen miller into your wine cellar, then slowly bricking it up while he's inside

Thanks to PBS Digital Studios's Deep Look series I could identify that the earwig in our shower was female. For some reason my wife was not impressed.

I would really love to play some Mario Party right now, but I don't have as many friends as I used to and I'm not ready to lose them to stars, coins, and chance time

When it’s your last day at The University of Toledo and you don’t get to make any more memes

I’m officially awkward enough that my predictive text includes “Oof” as a first response to any message

When I was 15 a nurse told me I had “a very muscular buttocks” and to this day that’s the best compliment I’ve ever received.

I work from home 40+ hrs/week. The least embarrassing thing about this photo is the cut out of Jennifer Anniston on the monitor. Biggest offender: the tape on my desk, it keeps the drawer from falling off into my lap 😂 #ModsyWFHGlowUp

Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than people who hang out in their front yards.

Monster Hunter

My superpower? I cannot be ratatouille’d

Voldemort’s motivations are so strange. Why amass a giant army just to attack your old high school?

how am i supposed to relax when every podcast is on a holiday break

old year bad new year good

Wordle 206 4/6 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩🟨⬛ ⬛🟩🟩🟩🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Never lost a wordle gang 😤