The warriors need to make the finals so we can get another JABBAWOCKEEZ performance. Also cuz I love the warriors haha

Being the only single childless person in my office is wild. My coworkers were detailing their busy weekends with family shenanigans and when my boss asked me what I did I said "went to the farmers market...that's pretty much it" 3 of my coworkers gasped and 1 cried.

Guy Tip #391

When it’s hump day and you haven’t been humped yet 😔

If they won’t name skrimp you musta dip

The wolf of Wall Street is just the modern day goodfellas and you can’t convince me otherwise

Currently wearing TMNT boxers. Is it laundry day?

My complexion is band-aid

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

The early bird catches the worm, but the night owl has different dietary requirements so it doesn't matter

To my art friends, michael’s has a 70% off sale on canvases rn

When mom brings her friends over for book club

Sometimes it’s okay to look back

Me

Idk if I trust people that wear cargo pants, like what you got in all those pockets?

2k23 rebrand real men try really hard to be the best they can be for themselves, loved ones n communities #commitment #sincerity im 43 years old

deluxe ?

Started watching one piece…

I think I’ve become a post it note person