This is like breaking someone’s legs then berating them for being lazy when they can’t keep up Sophie Corcoran

Strong “I’ve not been stabbed today therefore there is no knife crime…” energy from Mike Graham 🇬🇧 here

I get all confused and discombobulated when parody accounts turn out to not be parody accounts…

Imagine it would be very bitter…

On Robert Jenrick. If there's any justice in the world he'd hang his head in shame. inews.co.uk/opinion/now-th…

Sigh… theguardian.com/politics/2023/…

…sigh…

“Can’t remember…”

“The building is on fire…” says arsonist

“…I thought it was only going to ruin other people’s lives…”

Ahhh. Awkward.

When you realise half the weekend has already gone, but it feels like you only finished work half an hour ago…

Other than the one and a half million people who were evacuated from the city, some to other parts of the UK but many to places as far as Canada… But don’t let that stop you 👍

Remember, there is still only a very small percentage of weird, delusional, paranoid, nasty freaks in the world. It's just that they're all on Twitter😂 I just went for a long walk and everyone was lovely. Enjoy life and don't let miserable people get you down. Here's a cat.

I get it. I’d really like to visit the Taskmaster house too.

I’m tired of all this woke nonsense, trying to ban standing on dogs

Is getting sacked a lifestyle choice too?

Has anyone considered sending Lee Anderson there? Seems like a lot less hassle…

Twitter needs to do something about these parody accounts. I thought this one was real for a minute.