Are you a trash can, or a trash CAN'T?

Good job Tim Hortons

Who needs a personality when you have a Pearsonality

Heyyy (pejorative)

Not often that such superb art direction and copywriting converge on a menu

Can't believe it's been 26 seasons and they still haven't found out who that doctor is

Sometimes I wonder if I was ever combobulated to begin with

Think I'm running low on RAM

[Blushing] so... Is there a 22 savage?

My first order as president will be sentencing "I built this fyp brick by brick" commenters to building houses for the homeless brick by brick.

Tourette's? Oh you mean Whoopsie Phrasies?

[shows up to the theme party] Oh BRAT I thought you said-

Shout out to instagram stores for inspiring my next AliExpress search

You mean to tell me a witch made this sand?

Wellness tip: start your morning with 24 hours of alone time

Was horsemen always spelled that way?

Free bad Halloween costume ideas: Jackie O Lantern Ghouliana Rancic Freddy Prinze Krueger Tim Burton Ernie Ghost (Taylor's Version)

I don't know who needs to hear this:

HR said my ethnic impressions were so good they want me to do them at an in person meeting tomorrow!

Haunted house, except its just a room full of all the people I hugged when they were actually going for a handshake.