happy new year!!!! could you send me rent

and so the nerd fell for the jock. the jock fell for the goth, the goth fell for the cheerleader, the cheerleader fell for the burnout, and the burnout fell for the band geek. and me? I fell for the story.

we’re at the point where we can nominate female directors but they can’t win

going off do not disturb it’s not fair to my fans

i knew this looked familiar

I fell in love with a girl at 15 and lost my virginity to her in the boiler room of my parent’s basement. now she gay and I gay. We dated for years and i truly feel neither of us were faking it. I think we really saw each other. she’s my best friend. everything is malleable. poop

i wish i had a wife to cook me dinner

never mind I just lost myself in a cup of tea

i am the last of the famous international playboys

don’t worry my girlfriends actually picking me up in her prius

you have to give tay her flowers for being the only person giving Charli the energy she deserves

every rom com from the 2000s:

i used to think i was gay because i had Deeper Thoughts than everyone else but it turns out i might just be gay because i have fewer thoughts in general

Will always love you Kansas City! 💍💍

edward fourloko hands

mom rsvp’d maybe to my birthday party….love her for keeping her options open.

the fact that my nails grow so fast make me feel like I’m extremely fertile

This psycho shot me in the groin twice with 40mm munitions because I asked him for his name (which was ripped off of his helmet) after he shot others in the groin at close range too Watch him tell me he’s going to shoot me just for asking who he is:

she's back 🔥 Caitlin Clark is ready to play tomorrow against New York.

does anyone want to pay for my haircut