"what if your lemon touched my lime in the ciderhouse"

Congrats to NF and wife on their second baby coming!!!

ITS CANCER SZN BBY ✨

do u guys think tiny ants ever look at big ants and say "how's the weather up there"

drunk texting your friends 8ball requests >>>

spring: depressed in a hopeful way summer: depressed in a manic way fall: depressed in a nostalgic way winter: depressed in a depressed way

me: i'm covered in beer laura: i'm covered in tears

playing Jay Joseph at the bar i work at because i get aux & no one else 🤭

i'm more excited for spooky season this year than i've ever been because i have my favorite person to do all the fall shenanigans with now 🥰🥰🥰

"have fun with your fake salads!"

Wordle 839 2/6 do i win??? ⬛🟨⬛🟨⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

a walmart employee just full on hit me with one of those stacks of carts that they push in with the machine and i?? apologized? to him?????? (he did not apologize to me)

just hopping on to remind you how easy it is for someone to hide who they truly are for a long time in a relationship (carter just told me he's never had yellow squash)

I’m gonna give 10 random people that repost this and follow me $25,000 for fun (the $250,000 my X video made) I’ll pick the winners in 72 hours

"i only piss for huggies"

Tomorrow. Overcompensate premieres at 1pm ET. youtu.be/53tgVlXBZVg

"i'm the waffle?!" "bring me the syrup"

"i don't think i am too much, i think i'm the perfect right portion" -seth rogan

twenty one pilots have cancelled the release of their song “The Line” for the Arcane Season 2 Soundtrack When asked for further comments, we were told to come back at 8 am day of release.

This is Stephan. He just wants to help. 13/10 such a good boy