“When I was accused of making inappropriate sexual remarks whilst filming Masterchef, my genius defence was to say that only 13 people complained and they were middle class women of a certain age.”

"Are there any middle-class woman of a certain age here?"

None of us are perfect. All we can do is be the best person we can be. To me, this involves treating everybody with respect. When you lose respect for other people, you lose the ability to see things as they do.

🚨NEW: Donald Trump goes on a social media tirade against Bruce Springsteen, calling him a "communist" and "overrated." RETWEET if you stand with @Springsteen against Donald Trump!

"Now Surinam. Is it going to be higher or lower than Botswana? higher, or lower?.......It's lower......Didnt they do well?!"

Does he really think he can take on penguins in a tariff war and win? Those guys don't mess around

Good luck trying to impose a tariff on this double hard bastard

Teach your children how to think, not what to think.

We had Liberation Day in the village yesterday. I played Rule Britannia on a carrot. Jill in the village shop put a 25% tariff on her baps. Bunty my wife had some Ketamine. We concluded a free trade deal with the nearby village of Wimborne St Giles. And we all ate roast penguin.

Shock as man who's made a career out of running his companies into the ground starts doing the same to America

Sound familiar ??

Over prepared my arse 🧐🏏 #TheAshes2025

Happy Christmas everyone! Now get off your phone and go play with your presents. Unless your present was a phone, in which case crack on.

Breaking: Vlad the Impaler awarded FIFA Peace Prize.

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” —George Orwell, 1984

BREAKING: Music legend Bruce Springsteen just released this incredible song that will be sure to piss Trump off beyond belief. “Streets of Minneapolis”. He wrote this song about Alex Pretti and Renée Good Saturday and recorded it yesterday. Share it far and wide and play it

That’s it !!

"The essential job is to get people to recognise war propaganda when they see it, especially when it is disguised as peace propaganda." George Orwell