You will live to see man-made beauty beyond your comprehension

I love you so much young blood

Women love when you frantically tell them you love and need them on the first date

Windows are just different types of doors

Being a fucking moron comes naturally to me

We should kill Mondays once and for all

Babe are you okay? You’ve hardly neglected me today

Watching my emotional support pornography

My bad dude, did I wake you?

Women who drink Guinness will ruin your life in the best way possible

This thong is riding up my ass

Hug the first white woman you see today. It’s a big day for them

“I’m going on a social media cleanse.” You are weak. Your algorithm needs you but you have abandoned it. If my phone told me to kill you I would not hesitate

Woah Vicky is short for Woahminique Victoria

She let me hit because she pitied my existence

Thank you Spotify for providing me with a new platform to harass my ex

Taking the day off from posting to investigate that interstellar object heading toward earth. I will have an answer for you shortly