i can’t speak for him, but the name “Tweety Bird” feels derogatory??

talk "great googly moogly" to me

given the right circumstances, there is no almond that cannot be milked (consensually)

if there’s one thing ADHD has taught me, it’s that there’s a limit to the number of tabs Safari allows to be open at one time (and apparently that magic number is 500).

attempting to sell tickets on a “tour’s over” post is peak spam bot. no days off - gotta scam, gotta grind!

it’s always clementime

life is a roundabout

I can’t remember who I was before cowboy boots.

Just moved into a new apartment, and come to find out, there’s a professional flautist living below me. Chores have never felt so cinematic.

For the first time ever, I finished Fat Bear Week with a perfect bracket. After all these years, I am finally one with the bears.

My street is decked out in halloween decorations, but the best has gotta be the house with nothing but inflatable dragons.

Peed off of a moving train tonight, and I can’t exactly say it was on my bucket list, but I’m grateful for the experience.

If I pull one more back muscle in my sleep, I’m signing up for AARP.

today was my last day at BMI, which means I had to say goodbye to emails like this :(

I am nothing if not something.

Chartreuse should be illegal.

Googling “how to work the water fountains at LAX”

hour 3 of Phoebe Bridgers playing in a loop at the coffee shop. is this barista okay?

can i get a yee haw