Only she didn’t say barracuda. She said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the S-dash-dash-dash-dash word!

“The 49ers have long been known for their MVP quarterback, capable defense, and the beautiful simplicity of the West Coast Offense. But in recent days, a cloud has appeared on the horizon. A cloud in the shape of Lawrence Taylor.”

As the Bruins rained down blows upon the New York fans, they realized there had to be another way. #Festivus

Tonight, you will be visited by three sequels.

“Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum, motherfucker.”

“MERRY CHRISTMAS AMITY!”

“MERRY CHRISTMAS HARDWARE STORE!”

“MERRY CHRISTMAS CHRISSIE!”

“MERRY CHRISTMAS LIQUOR STORE!”

“MERRY CHRISTMAS TV STATION ON THE MAINLAND!”

“MERRY CHRISTMAS ORCA!”

“MERRY CHRISTMAS JUVENILE DELINQUENTS!”

“MERRY CHRISTMAS MATT HOOPER!”

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

“I’d like to teach the world to sing, Chief.”

“If the people can’t ______ here, they’ll be glad to ______ at Cape Cod, the Hamptons, and Long Island.”

Better in bed? 🛌🤔

Follow In Martin Brody’s Footsteps: Live on an island full of hicks. Die cold, wet, and alone on the ocean. Follow In Matt Hooper’s Footsteps: Live in a tropical paradise. Make love to an angry welder each day.