The second I hop on any flight I am ripping ass for the entire duration of the flight (fuck you southwest)

Dream blunt rotation

I never finish when I’m having sex with a woman. I always just end up thinking about the struggles of how hard it is to be a woman in the American patriarchy. Like to be honest I don’t even want to have sex we should just sit on the couch and read Bell Hooks together. Way better.

What I wouldn’t give to have a cloaca 😔

Star sign but for boys

Right now all I can think about is going winter camping in the snow (and an insane footjob)

If they made a corporation that’s only job was absolutely crushing puss I’d prolly be like a district manager or some shi

Feel like a dinkleberry the way I be popping off

Things I would do for a five guys burger rn: Kill a man in cold blood Things I wouldn’t do for a five guys burger rn: Pay $13

If allah promised 72 dirty sluts he’d have me on board tbh

I’m like a wandering ronin in the Japanese forest but instead of a sword I have a Glock and instead of the Forrests I’m in o block

Short twitter break Dream moan audio Feel very Violated

Love showing my gay friends the simple life of a straight man

I have the attention span of a disabled rat

I should get an addiction just to get my ass outta bed in the morning

All I ask this year is that if Taylor swift or playboi carti is in your top artists don’t post that shit it’s embarrassing 💯

I’d be so much funnier if I could take my meat out in public

Just beat the constipation allegations

Shit happens. I’m just the one that steps up to wipe.

if I had a time machine I would go back to the 2002 spooky island sugar ray concert