Next award… DICK OF THE YEAR, couldn’t happen to a nicer bloke.. OWAIN DOBSON

GOAL OF THE SEASON: Jordan Cornford, accepted by girlfriend Amber. For his goal vs Angmering in the 3-2 win. ⚒️

Fuck me can’t keep up.. next award, most improved: Joe Nash! ⚒️

Best Newcomer: BILLLLLLLLLLL⚒️

HAMMER OF THE YEAR: my hero, my mate and most importantly our Hammer. goes to BEASTTTTTTTTT (Olly Nixon)

Top Goalscorer: imagine my shock, 30 goals or saink in the league. Dean Burgess (shortly turning into Ian)⚒️

PLAYERS PLAYER: Jack Lee. Is he Van Dijk or De Bruyne? We don’t know. But what we do know is that he’s a stud with a shield and trophy to put on his windowsill ⚒️⚒️ And that’s it for the Hammers 23/24 awards.. see you next year 🫡⚒️ #UTH

CORRECTION: Beast comes away with the most improved, Hammer of the year and Managers player. ⚒️⚒️⚒️

DO YOU THINK YOURE BETTER OFF ALONEEEEEEE. ⚒️⚒️⚒️⚒️⚒️

All the hammers are out tonight Carlton Cole #hammers #uth

🚨 PLAYERS WANTED 🚨 We’re looking for players to help strengthen our squad for the upcoming season in the Premiership! DM us if you’re interested in coming down to training next week, or if you fancy playing in a friendly this Sunday. #UTH

We’ve folded mate.