"Did you just fall?" - "No, I attacked the floor." - "Backwards?" - "I know, I know. I'm fucking talented."

Dubstep is like the sound made when you get the hair on your ass and balls removed by waxing and that is the Gospel

Euphonik™♛ have yu heard that new song 'Levels"?

Happy birthday Muhammad Ali#legend

"The victim was found with his penis in a jar of peanut butter." "Well I guess he.."*Puts on sunglasses*".was fucking nuts." YEAAAAHHHH!!!!!

Ronaldo, great player, wrong personality.

Takes short route, kids make him lick white dog shit #badluckbrian

Over trying.. #fucktthefreeworld

Anybody got work for me?#broke

Santa wears red, breaks into people's houses, drives an unlicensed vehicle, & only works once a year. He's definitely a scouse Liverpool fan

Merry Christmas▲

26 shots and 2.5L of beer later ... Did he survive Grant Bulloch Daniel Durocher-Yvon Guy Adam #LegendWaitForItDary

The pitches change. The killer instinct doesn't. Own the turf, anywhere. @NikeFootball #myground