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Mamacita Becky

Just a reminder that EDC fireworks are way better then 4th of July fireworks

tr*mp supporters when he signs the millionth “eat shit and die” bill this week

A new mural in France depicting Lady Liberty covering her face in shame was unveiled the day before America's Independence Day.

They asked Joey Chestnut what the biggest key to winning was and he dead serious said “showing up”

Adulthood is wild. One day I'm transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I'm transferring it out to save myself.

a few sips of Baja Blast and I swear I can speak all the languages of the animal kingdom

Take a bow, Luca Orellano 😱😱 An absolute worldie puts FC Cincinnati ahead late in Salt Lake. 📺 #MLSSeasonPass or Apple TV+: apple.co/4kPQ1d8

Rant time — This is how the “Face of the League” should behave. Evander shows up to the event. He does the skills competition. He takes questions **IN ENGLISH** from the sideline reporter who keeps trying to get him to hype himself for the MVP (which, like a boss, he deflects

Bouanga has played more minutes than Messi in all comps this year. Why did Messi play 90 minutes in a 5-1 rout of NYRB? Why did Messi play 90 minutes in a 3-0 smashing at the hands of Cincy? The face of the league is wearing the armband for MLS tonight and his name is Evander

When that first drop hits your lips. Pure bliss

He doesn't play for my team. Therefore, I do not give a single fuck about him. I'm actively going to root against him and the team he plays on. I'm going to be mad if his team is allowed to bend rules for an advantage. It's so weird that people need this explained to them.

Messi explaining to Alba that he’s suspended for the #AllForCincy match but Major League Soccer still needs to sell tickets to the plastic fans in Fort Lauderdale

I appreciate the novelty of flight the fellas in the two window seats in my row keep repeatedly opening them on this 5-7 am flight. Takeoff, landing, snap a pic at cruise, and close that shit I am trying to sleep.

A political agency cannot “repeal” a scientific finding, btw. That’s not how scientific findings work, no matter how stupid and arrogant you are.

Question for people who believe that life begins at conception: would you sell liquor to this baby

Every time I go to an airport I’m reminded that the average person is soooo much dumber than I thought