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April...Fools?

Just had to fight over some cod in the supermarket. Ended up getting battered. #BlackFriday

Only came in Asda for a yoghurt, ended up getting mullered #blackfridaypuns #BlackFriday

Asking a member of staff at Asda if there's any lamb left but he's giving me the cold shoulder #blackfridaypuns #BlackFriday

My cat is sad because I'm explaining to him and my other cat why they can't get out of their mobile phone contract.

Fred Claus.

@KateRoseHutch Be ridiculous of me to favourite this wouldn't it? Ah well.

Nice to see you in my morning TimeOut magazine Loz Colbert (he, him)

Shrek the Third. #tbt

In your face, jerk #LoveWins

Tablads! #data16 #tableauontour #dudewheresmydashboard

Tablads! #data16 #tableauontour #dudewheresmydashboard

That Smash Mouth song at the end of Shrek is great fun. Shame they never did anything else :(

Very impressive performance by Dolph Ziggler in 'Countdown'. Best I've seen since TheMarkHenry retirement speech

@RottenTomay zVzztoes s55

#TweetForShelter

My Mum's well gangster

Well it was a waste of money because you didn't even get a majority government. May: Good! Didn't want it to - next!

Representing the one and only Stan Lee for a MARVEL-ous party #excelsior #whyhasnoonecashedinwithanofficialstanleecostumeyet