One word: Doge

It’s the 28th of December and I’ve already mentally spent all of my Christmas gift cards.

I once went on a date with a guy who only ate chicken nuggets. I wonder where he is now. Married with children he’s called chicky and nuggs? The leader of a cult who worship a hen? DM me bird boy.

I just tried to double tap to like an email. How do I get paid for this idea?

A hedge fund is angry because a bunch of people got together, pooled a ton of money and bought stocks in the hopes of massively profiting at the expense of someone else.

I just wanna be strong enough to replace the head on my quip toothbrush.

And strong enough to #HoldTheLine

At this stage dogecoin feels like that guy who gives you JUST enough to stay interested. #dogecoin

I'm going to start referring to things I think are bad by saying 'that's honestly Satan'

I vividly remember offering ‘coke actually has caffeine it’ as an crazy fact to my friends in grade 5.

How do rich people get their pillows so plush? Are they just constantly fluffing?

Ted Cruz is a test for us all and a lot of people are failing.

As a rule can we not approach people (women) when they’re sitting in their car innocently scrolling. I’m talking to you men of LA.

WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook being down might be how we reach herd immunity.

Yes, Steven Spielberg did dance on the set of #WestSideStory. "He was there to have a party with us," says star Yurel Echezaretta. bit.ly/3owwbJN

Liechtenstein and San Marino on this list makes it feel a bit like when Kanye said he had beef with Peppa Pig.

My Mum is chatgpt and you can’t convince me otherwise #ChatGPT #ai #momsoftwitter

I'm on the Texts.com waitlist, can someone skip me ahead? cc Texts