i hate the holidays. they are depressing to me. hopefully someone pulls up on me with some PERCOCET.

i can honestly say with 100% certainty that at this point in my life i enjoy interacting with canines more than humans. humans are fucjing horrible.

still alive!

homie just said stay 15 feet away from anyone who posts on linkedin he might be right

business idea - the short sleeve tuxedo

walk deez nutz down the aisle biotch

lbs sabrina carpenter got a big ass head

i wish i could go to therapy and vent all of my problems and issues but my therapist was a dog and when i was done he would just bark. session over.

lotta humans on this earth shit

i keep waking up in the middle of the night sweating from this reoccurring nightmare that i work at burger king

Can someone lend me $14,000? I need to place a parlay. Its a lock.

i wish one of my dogs knew how to preheat the oven to 350

And in retrospect, I remember December being the hottest

just because you dont like something doesnt mean it sucks. maybe YOU suck. ever thought about that?

One of John McAfee's last messages to the people: "Some of you may be living an existence of dissatisfaction... of emptiness... of longing." "This sense of longing... is really your loss of freedom. And it is freedom for which you yearn." "And you have none in this government.

saturday night live is so ass

whats the difference between conspiracy theories and reality? about 2 years time

Being stranded on a deserted island sounds magnificent to me

Wealth is in the mind, not the pocket.

i passed out early and just woke up with a feeling like something bad was happening and i was right because i went out to my tv room and the jimmy fallon show was on