God I hope I get put on a Tesla vent.

Alright it's international giveaway time - Looking to make someone's quarantine time a little more fun! Giving away this customized SNES Edition Nintendo Switch Just RETWEET to enter and I'll pick a random winner in 24 hours. Shoutout to ColorWare for making this possible!

you talk shit about cops now, but just wait until a guy breaks into your house and you need to call someone who will show up an hour late and shoot your dog

My neighbors set up a projector in their back yard and they are using it to watch live jam band music. This is the biggest misuse of resources since McCormick place hospital.

Imagine being so rich you can do whatever you want and choosing to do this.

In another shocking twist of 2020, #BlakeNeff, Tucker Carlson's head writer, is a racist. Could this year get any wackier?!

oBAMa's Illuminati chem trails are causing #pizzagte and the only way stop it is to wear a mask soy boy.

"posed with beans while America burned" is the new "played his fiddle while Rome burned"

Washington's NFL Team Is Now Known As The "Washington Person Woman Man Camera Tv Team".

You won't have to worry about my tweets when I'm president.

You know the thing acoustic guitar players do when they slap the strings to make that percussive sound? I wish they'd stop.

did you know you can use hash browns as a crust for quiche when you don’t feel like making pie crust. they can’t arrest you for it or nothin you can do it anytime you like

Watching a singer dance around with the mic stand and play air guitar and shit when it's an instrumental section gives me extreme fremdschämen. They should just sit in a chair or something for that part.

what if god came down to earth and said “it’s pronounced jod” and left

This is art

incredible

Unfollowing David Chang on Instagram is praxis.