I just want to give a shout out to the seams in my work pants. Yall work harder than anyone I know and I appreciate you. ♡

I took an unflattering mistake front camera selfie and learned my nostrils aren't symmetrical. I'm asking for privacy and space during this difficult time of grief and self-discovery.

Our neighbor rang the doorbell after 9pm to give us a piece of our mail that was in her box. SLIDE IT UNDER THE DOOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT HIDDEN IN THE CLOAK OF DARKNESS LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN, YA WEIRDO!

Let me be the 5,753,835th person to tell you that you must watch HANNAH GADSBY: NANETTE. Hannah Gadsby Thank you for sharing. Humanity first!

Get off my tv, ya gross orange fuck! It's Bachelorette night! #youruineverything #ihateyou

Ain't no dookie like a Thanksgiving dookie cause a Thanksgiving dookie don't stop! #Thanksgiving

Just trying to love myself the way Jonathan Van Ness would want me to.

Naked bofries, Bojangles' fries without any of the famous seasoning, are just gross greasy potatoes that ruin your car fries experience. Come on, Bo. I trusted you! #imnotmadimjustdisappointed

#cats #catsthemovie #faceapp #russia #help instagram.com/p/B0JM7DqH3dhh…

Space Farce, amirite?

Has anyone asked #petersmom how to beat #COVID19 because she definitely knows. #barbisthenewkaren

My infant's first word is going to be '39'. #thebachelorette

We don't talk about Jada no no no #Oscars2022

Black women and men in Alabama. I see you. I hear you. Thank you. #civicduty #alabama #alsenate… instagram.com/p/BcocOERFiX2/

*throws open the shower curtain* I'M NOT JOSIE GROSSIE ANYMORE!!!!

I have so so much to do! Today. Right now. *lies in bed and goes on Insta deep dive to see what the Dance Mom kids are up to these days*

#fuck45 #pissingcontest #drumpf #takeawayhistoys #goodoldfashionedduel #heisanactualnutjob… instagram.com/p/BdeYjSdFaLJ/

HEY VALENTINE, CAN I CALL YOU CEFDINIR BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO WRECK MY PUSSY. #Valentine #antibiotics #LoveintheTimeofFluSeason

In which I acquire PussyTV.com* and get people to give me money to subscribe then it's just my cats walking past the camera every once in a while.