“Ayyyyy! Tuna Can!” “Sir, that is not my name.” “My man, Sardines! What’s up?” “Sir. Please. My name is

I want to see a Lord of the Rings workplace comedy where all of the Orcs talk like this

You will now be permanently banned if you allege a shrimp has ever fried rice.

One of my favorite things about the book is seeing people learning how to do and be the subject of early digital photography

TIME is a flat circle.

I’m crazy for this one.

My dentist, while she’s scraping my teeth: “Are you… laughing?”

Honestly, this kind of thing is exactly what we all need right now:

The emergency broadcast announcing the commencement of The Purge, except it’s for Opposite Day.

it’s called Bread Bled Redemption

(trying to remind my wife that we have a nuclear war preparedness kit WITHOUT alarming her) "y'know what could be fun? getting out the ol hand-cranked AM radio."

Lumière brothers’ 1885 short film “Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat”

Tonight on Twitter:

GIANT "Fee fi fo fum I smell the blood of an Englishman!" GIANT (internally) Nice going. You used made-up words and *still* couldn't hit the rhyme.

If you’re reading this, you are on my defunct Twitter profile. My website is up there, email me instead. xoxo,