Just had a wartime flashback of when I lived with a gay guy and he told me he’d removed the shower head attachment in our shared bathroom and shoved the pipe up his ass to douche for a hookup

“We need to consider the politics of desirability” MINGER ALERT 🚨 FUGLY MINGER IN THE HOUSE 🚨

I puked on my bathmat on Easter Sunday and threw it out the backdoor and have left it on my patio ever since. Should I throw it away or put it in the washing machine?

🎶 Yeah yeah 🎵 Ok I think we’re ready. I’m in the studio, I’m on tour, I’m rehearsing so I try to look after my health so I can do it for a long time and just like start my days off right so the rest of the day can be amazing. Let’s get on with it.

There’s a black man at work and he’s wearing a “durag”!

Found my childhood bestie on here and I wanna message him but he posts exclusively about American football and I post about lady gaga and my cock

Do you guys think mummy ever did find out that daddy’s getting hot at the body shop doing something unholy?

Why he look like George Floyd

I give out my number on Grindr in the hopes of making local friends and I all I get is messages like this

Well boy am I shocked to discover that the hot guy is hot

I like in the chorus of All Saints’ “Pure Shores” when they assure their love object that they aren’t drowning

I don’t believe that Yukio Mishima was a real person I think you all made him up just to be really annoying

Things are so dreary in Britain people are at M&S trying to find beauty in bags of sultanas

Lasers coming out of her ears, eyes looking in 2 different directions. She came on this bitch mad as hell

Walked to work with wet hair last night and it was so windy I arrived looking like the late Tina Turner

Soyjack shitter

Every Scottish person is so proud to be Scottish and u ask why and they’re like “We’re rough an’ we luff tae swear”

Just burst out laughing remembering this, like yeah he’s singing Jennifer Holiday’s “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” in his room so he can serenade his future wife lmao

Asked oomf I met irl what I come across like in person: