High risk low reward.

He said I gave him the ick when I screamed “HEYYYYYY” like toad directly into his ear 😊

My cat is soooooo Waluigi

Honestly I should just go on a solo vacation at this point

Fuck am I a nepo baby

I have to say, one of my favorite parts about being an interpreter is that hearing people have this strange visceral need to tell me their deepest darkest secrets. But I’m a sucker for drama so 🥱

Father must know where the cat is at all times and Samara must be an all knowing magician

Do u guys think they have sex with each other on wife swap?

Hating on the haters!!!

I don’t understand how you can produce and market a bad fragrance? Like did someone not SMELL IT gag

Ladies I’m bored

Treated 🤮🤢❌❌❌ Trote 🤑💕❤️🥰😘

Nick asked me to be his valentine with a Panera sandwich

DIOXINS: Don't eat anything that grows here Don't drink the water Don't burn any wood or vegetative matter Don't eat any animals that were fed from or watered here Don't live downstream from here Don't take soil from here The land is wasted forever once we do this to it

I can’t believe wood soup is the thing that finally broke me

Sometimes I seriously think about quitting my career to work as a cake decorator at Ben and Jerry’s

Soak + Sip at The Springs Resort #giveaway #win kingsumo.com/g/mny9403/soak…

Soak + Sip at The Springs Resort #giveaway #win kingsumo.com/g/mny9403/soak…

Soak + Sip at The Springs Resort #giveaway #win kingsumo.com/g/mny9403/soak…