Really excited. Cant wait for gay pride in belfast this week. And no work either. Double result

Waiting on this all year. #comingout

Id like to thank simon and lance for giving me a great time at belfast pride. Miss you guys already

Just got banned from B&Q, some dickhead in an orange apron came up to me and asked if I wanted decking!! Lucky I got the first punch in!

I was in bed last night pulling my boxers off when my girlfriend walked in and said please don't do that to the dogs!

I hate that they put "use by" dates on condoms... Like I'm not under enough pressure trying to get laid already.

Went to the gym & there's a new machine. Used it for an hour & felt sick.Its good though, it does everything Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers.

I tried really hard but the better golfer won

Transfer Window now closed Many Liverpool fans are disappointed not to have got Bale. But they'll be back in court on Monday to try again.

Golfers beware. Look whos made the champion of champions

Peoples talking. This is not me

I had a dream last night that I was getting a blowjob from the blonde one from ABBA I only woke up because his beard was tickling my balls.

Wen i win the TOC at killymoon. will i be too late to make the team for hazeltine Darren Clarke

I went to the doctor because everywhere I pressed hurt. Pressed my leg it hurt. My arm, it hurt. My head.. Turns out I'd broken my finger.

Close your eyes & rub a Kiwi fruit in one hand & a testicle in the other, its hard to tell the difference It also gets you banned from Asda

I mistakenly drank some Tippex instead of my liquid Viagra - I now have a huge correction

Where shud i put winter tee boxes, so i can still be marvelous. How can i play of mats, i shank. Hmmmmm

For a different nights craic, Great cause, Everyone very welcome.

FOR A CHANCE TO WIN SIMPLY, FOLLOW @KMOONGC & RETWEET THE POST. ITS THAT EASY

I Cant sleep. If cookie gets on council hell know i do fuck all. Vote cassidy so i can sleep 4 2 more years #teamstain #givemeaporpose