Just been informed that our CrossCountry train from Manchester has a “Revenue Protection Manager” on board. Had to google it. Turns out they are a Ticket Inspector. Ffs.

Fish fingers. “The breaded teatime treat.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Hooters. “The global norks ‘n’ forks eaterie.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Craig Revel Horwood. “The barb-tongued dance whiz.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Paddington Bear. “The marmalade sandwich-loving Peruvian.” “The fictional favourite.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Ed Sheeran. “The terracotta-topped troubadour.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Guinness. “The yeasty sip.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Sex toy. “The explicit gadget.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Aimee Lou Wood. “The brilliant snaggle-toothed Brit.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Angus Young. “The school-cap-and-blazer wearing lead guitarist of AC/DC.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Toothpaste and shower gel. “The bathroom regulars.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Space scientists. “E.T. sleuths.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Coffee. “The bean-based beverage.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Percy Pigs. “The ever-popular pink sweets.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Ian Hislop. “The jowly jester.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Greggs. “The shoplifter-plagued chain.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Latin. “Pope lingo.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Bust of Jim Morrison. “The 300lb likeness.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Greggs sausage roll. “The British pastry favourite.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩

Spam. “World War Two canned staple.” “The pork and ham stodge.” ⁦knobbly monsters⁩ ⁦Second Mentions⁩