how it started how it’s going

I haven’t tweeted in so long so I apologize 🫶 I’ll get back to my roots and annoy tf out of you guys again

dude really tried breaking bad

who wants to be my gf? ill peel so many oranges for you

Tweet of a soon to be single man

Joining a book club and this is one of the choices. I will in fact be suing for emotional damages.

I’ve been to Lowe’s more times in the past 3 months than I have in my entire life. Wtf is this adult shit

The amount of backlash I get is insane

can you imagine walking to the cafeteria at work and seeing these abominations

The most boy dinner you’ve ever seen

First book club meeting is tonight! Hope they don’t find out I just skimmed spark notes beforehand

got rejected by a girl so I decided to run a marathon next month

started going mad hard at the gym when this banger came on

Nothing like an alumni game to make you feel extremely old and out of shape (def not me though)

did my favorite past time which was get hammered and add random people on Facebook

Crazy how hard I have to work to have the most average physique of all time lmao

at what age are you allowed to just let yourself go because I’m ready for it

*looks at phone* I gotta take this

im that guy that waves at everyone on a walk and im sorry for that