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The word quirky is a quirky word

Behind the toilet is the gold standard of toilet paper placement in hotel room bathrooms

I’m the toilet paper coordinator for all 5 star hotels

I would eat here every day

Happy Monday! Now go back to bed

Bananas in pajamas sounds like a perfectly logical thing

A garbage either can or it can’t

Expect the unexpected when you least expect it

Probably not what you were expecting

Take my advice… I’m not using it

Think tank? More like brain aquarium

I’m giving up the punchline of this joke for Lent

Tuesday is like a recipe you take one ingredient out of and it sucks just a little bit less… but I still want to slap the chef

Kiss me, I’m Spanglish

I’m confused

Call me, crazy

I just thought of some words. Here they are. Now like them

It’s Thursday, but some of you thought it was Friday. You know who you are