Just bought a used J/160, 53ft, Yanmar4JH110 from YachtWorld. Thank you again for the fantastic customer service! This 110HP beaut is going to make it so easy to smuggle Mexicans across the border….LOL!

Does anyone have any spare Y24876 Sailmaster Dual action rudders they are willing to trade for my families dog? She is 10 years old, named Marlin, is missing both front legs, and only responds to old german. “Herbei, Merlin! Komm hervor, guter Hund!”

I caught a fat fish that looked like my mother in-law today. Thing had an absolute dump truck. Smelled like her too. What a dumb bitch that woman is. She tried to take the kids from me last year. Guess who’s not invited to little Jimmy’s next sailing competition! #SauvignonBlanc

I got my leg caught in the sails halyard ropes last week. Reminded of the times my Father would tie me to our backyards tree and not let me go until I ate all of my greens. What a wise man he was. He currently gets hella ass in his old folks home. Good work Daddy.

Just found out my father caught Aids in his old folks home. Apparently the Hi-(Five) gets tossed around retirement homes just like my ex wife on our sailing trip to Zimbabwe. Gosh those men were aggressive. I can thank that trip for one of my beautiful baby boys. #Wine&Dine

Just dropped an absolute cannon ball in the toilet. Napoleon would be proud. Laying absolute artillery just like the Battle of Trafalgar. The British fleet under Admiral Horatio Nelson had naval supremacy for over a year after that battle.Only if I was there to drop absolute heat

My new boyfriend has a peg leg. That thing is as hard as a rock. He reminds me of the pirates my Daddy used to tell me about before bed. Funny that they call them “peg” legs lol, what a coincidence… #Wine #Drinkmorewind #Imhammered