Can someone come over and choose me four acceptable and weather appropriate outfits please because I'm lost. Cagoul and short shorts? Technical top and tight jeans? Merino polo, jockstrap and umbrella?

A woman with an accent so southern I’m 80% sure is she’s called Tomara is slagging off Irish people on the tram and I hope someone murders her.

Thanks hun, love your work! Let Comrade Zinoviev know if you've got any dietary requirements for the next Comnintern Congress. XOXO Your pal Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov

For two weekends in July, Manchester's dealers will be able to sell the absolute shittest drugs imaginable. Invest in talc stocks now lads.

Good luck to all the 21 year old girls in Stockport today and no one else.

Call me a curmudgeon, but I think if you choose to re-record songs in a smooth jazz style you shouldn’t wimp out on doing the rap feature, so kudos to whoever sang the De La Soul part of this insane version of Feel Good Inc. the hotel bar is currently playing. ⭐️

Can't wait to find out which hackneyed SF trope she claims to have invented in her publicity interviews. I'm going to guess sex robots.

Is it bad that I read this thread and thought “I could put on a better Regency ball than that” and now I’m googling how much it costs to hire a horse and carriage.

Realised I was born 1700 years too late because my core abilities of remembering and debating the minutiae of secondary fantasy worlds and feeling compassion for horrible people but judging them anyway would have made me a kick-ass church father.

Labour MPs realising in real time that just because you call it being a "sugar baby" does not in fact mean that no one else realises what the gifts are in exchange for.

A low value subscription based model allowing continued access is just corruption "as a service".

Who would have thought that investing the Labour leadership in a cohort of London based professionals who've spent the last 15 years envying the lifestyles of their peers in the law and investment banking would lead to them making some out of touch financial decisions?

When the Tories next ask why people aren't proud of their country can someone remind them that they consistently want it to cosplay as another country. Fucking mental.

This where the “what matters to Keir is winning” strategy got us. A prime minister making deeply unpopular decisions with no coherent justification because he thinks “winning” entitles him to do so. When I say that people running Labour are shit at their jobs this is what I mean.

Feeling like becoming one of those people who just checks out of trying to understand the world to become obsessed with butterfly collecting or discovering the “true” identity of King Arthur, or getting into a really obscure kink. Any recommendations welcome.

The bore worms have reminded me that at some point I need to get round to making the ultimate bear halloween costume.

Wishing the absolute worst day to whichever soulless ghoul came up with the idea of using dementia to sell fucking Dairy Milk.