I'm crazy excited! I finally have a comedy piece in the illustrious McSweeney's. Please check it out, especially if you watch more @LoveItOrListIt than is good for you, as I clearly do. mcsweeneys.net/articles/every…

If you like #basketball and you like #dentalcare but wish someone would bring the two together, you're going to love my piece in Points in Case. And it's just in time for #MarchMadness (and my dentist appointment on Wednesday). pointsincase.com/lists/people-t…

Did you know that Florida Governor Ron DeSantis NEVER gave lap dances? It's incredible but true! Check out my latest piece in the esteemed Weekly Humorist to learn more fun facts, and you'll end up a trivia champ in no time at all. weeklyhumorist.com/ron-desantis-n…

75% of editing is just realizing I used a certain word too many times and trying to fix that.

I was thinking of my grandma and looked up popular Twitter hashtags for grandma. Some top suggestions: grandmarais, grandmasterflash, grandmarquis, and grandmasterofdemoniccultivation.

If you've got two minutes for a laugh, check out my latest in the hilarious Weekly Humorist weeklyhumorist.com/ten-zombie-twi…

April Fool’s Day blizzard here.

It's 79 degrees in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. (That is not sand in my yard.) #snow

Here’s something everyone finds hilarious: moths! Maybe not everyone, but if you’re a little nerdy like me, get ready to be amazed and delighted by the real names of moths in my latest comedy piece. twofiftyone.net #moths

Horrible Pick-Up Lines by Chris Eno McMahon ift.tt/sYxPvyB

Lookin' for love? Have I got some pick-up lines for you. I didn't say they were good pick-up lines. Slackjaw 🚀 medium.com/slackjaw/horri…

I'm in the amazing McSweeney's! This was partly inspired by a horrible stay I had in Milwaukee. What was your worst hotel/motel/ Airbnb experience? mcsweeneys.net/articles/we-we…

Grammar pet peeve: “equally as.” Use “equally” or “as,” not both.

Anyone who knows me knows I love the DNA home-testing kits. Today, I answer all your burning DNA questions in my debut in the hilarious robot butt. robotbutt.com/2023/05/28/did…

FYI: when you tell people how to use food ingredients to make a dish, that is called a RECIPE, not a food hack.

Dear writers: “unphased” is not a word. I am fazed by the number of times I’ve had to read that non-word lately.

Cowlick has got to be one of the weirdest words in English. Who saw a person with their hair sticking up and immediately thought: A cow must have licked that.

A publication took over TWO YEARS to reject my short humor piece. Their apologetic letter encouraged me to submit again. I submitted a new piece and got a rejection in a WEEK. It began, “Hi [SubmitterFirstName]” Didn’t even bother typing my name into the form letter. Stone cold.