Having a mental breakdown

The amount of fazolis breadsticks I just had I am soon to develop gout

Old coworker that went to jail for the last 7 years just liked my Facebook post from 2016 where I said I quit the job we both worked at. Lots of catching up to do I see

Reminiscing when I was absolutely blacked out on my way to Nashville and hijacked a Wendy’s

Can someone tell Will that all my friends were cussin me out thinking I muted the TV and I want an apology

Doing my best to look absolutely unhinged on this southwest flight so no one decides to sit by me

Okay southwest is so chaotic we all are supposed to just play musical chairs when you board the plane?

Whoever made my avocado toast from Dunkin I wanna shake your hand this is truly impeccable

Can someone plz give me credit thank you and Goodnight

Met a guy at the airport just now who told me he was a parakeet breeder. Just drove to Chicago from Oklahoma with 4,000 parakeets in one minivan. 4,000 parakeets, one (1) minivan.

Finally boarded my flight! Time to find the saddest song ever created on Spotify and pretend my life is a rom com and cry through the duration of the takeoff

I loooove making returns because it’s like give me my money

Idk why but I find it very innocent and genuine that collectively all drivers just know to pull over for emergency vehicles like look at all of us just following the rules I love u

Now I see why I never did sports

This is like when mine got stolen and ended up in Italy

I don’t like that the care and laugh emoji are right next to each other on Facebook I’m always one click away from laughin at someones dead Grandma

Jwoww after she has sex

Me watching my friends reactions to this student loan forgiveness announcement to find out who makes more than $125k so I can rob them

Someone at work said the queens death was an inside job??? Yeah if you consider her organs an inside job?? She was 96,000 years old.

Capital Meemaw at your service