“In the lens of Laurie, what an extraordinary experience. If I have daughters one day—not even—if I have kids one day, they got to see [Greta Gerwig’s Little Women] because this is an excellent, worthy movie.”

“Greta, if you’re watching this, you want me to play a chair or a tree... Like Scarlett Johansson, I’ll be a tree.”

If you hadn't become an actor, what would you have done? “Nothing. Unemployment.”

[about Christmas shopping] “I’m sort of ready. I made a little pile in New York when I left. Just toilet paper and toothbrush.”

Where will you be when #LittleWomen goes out? “I’ll be on my second glass, knowing that I’ve reached my limit.”

What makes Little Women still such a relevant story? “Greta Gerwig.”

Happy birthday, Timothée Chalamet!

SOMEBODY is having a birthday. “Yes, the big three-O so soon.”

“Enchanté, Timothée.”

“The ‘Seinfeld Diner’—I still owe them five bucks for bacon, eggs, and cheese three years ago. I hope they don’t see this interview.”

“This is why we need Barry Jenkins and Greta Gerwig, and Mati Diop, and Ari Aster, and Lulu Wang—not to reignite the golden age party that is definitely over; the world is on fire as we speak—but to make the art that is truthful to the times and a true mirror of our times.”

[watching Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig impressively rehearse their bit for the Oscars] “By the way, is that right before us? Oh God.”

“I’m Timothée Chalamet. Happy Valentine’s Day!”

“GO VOTE!”

“I’m gonna crawl in a hole somewhere, and pray for the best.”

“I’m not on TikTok.”

“I have the best mom in the world, I really mean it.”

“Be well. Be safe.”

[slapping an empty water bottle off the table] “I want to know what that sounds like!”

“I think it’s tough to be alive now. I think societal collapse is in the air.”