Hello, friends.

So, the kind greeting didn’t go well. Let’s try this. Sup, ya fucks?

Y’all, Djo is like…really good. Piping hot take, I know.

I don’t know, man. If you thought this was “divisive”, you might just be on the wrong side of this one.

Hey, I’m going on tour soon. I think? Wait. Let me check. Yeah, I’m going on tour in June. And I need someone who can braid hair. I can offer you cookies. And the chance to tour with a semi-famous Vermonter.

As far as famous Vermonters go, it’s: Bernie Sanders (politics guy) Joe Perry (guitar guy) John Deere (tractor guy) Tim Daly (“Wings” guy. Show not band.) Norman Rockwell (artist guy) KT Tunstall (iconic lady) Then me (guy).

I hope you settle down, I hope you marry rich I hope you're scared of only ordinary shit Like murderers and ghosts and cancer on your skin And not your soul and what He might do with it

If anyone here is unfamiliar with me (probably a decent amount of you), hi. I’m Noah. This is what I do.

Hey, friends. Do me a favor. It’s not hard. It’s not like…helping me move. Love yourself today. Got that? Good.

So, who here has listened to “The Great Divide”? No spoilers. I haven’t heard it yet.

Hey, everyone? It’s not hard to be “country” in this country these days. It’s hard to be a bigot, racist, homophobe, transphobe, misogynist, sexist, and asshole. Hope this helps whatever that denim golem with whatever he was singing about at that stupid halftime show.

Hey, y’all. Happy Sunday. Whether it’s the start of your week, or the end: make it fuckin’ great.

2020. In a nutshell. And a sweater I look nice in.

So, I’m not really following a ton of the Olympics. Is this the thing going on in Curling?

I’m giving you ADDED VALUE for your VIP purchase!

Among the litany of terrible things Kid Rock has done, among the worst is unleashing Uncle Kracker on the world.

Guys, it’s 2026. Can we talk about Bruno now?

Cross promotion is hard.

…“You once called me forever, now you still can't call me back”…