me laying with my homegirl because she my boyfriend

booking all my 5 am workout classes for the rest of the week like it’s gonna cancel out all the miller lite and espresso martinis

gonna start over sharing on Twitter again like ope u guys remember me

Having days off during the week is cool and all but someone pls leave work to come play w me

Deleted my hinge again that place is scary

Girls are honestly so weird I have like 3 friends now but no fakes allowed 🤝

busted out of my suit as soon as I got home like a can of pilsbury cinnamon rolls I slam on the counter

Every time I look back on the men who have made me cry I start laughing so hard I gotta slap my knee boi was I TRIPPIN over some uglies

I think it’s my favorite trait of mine that I will be out until 3 am sometimes but still make it to the morning workout no problem

Never be sad on a weekend. Cry during business hours and get paid for your depression. Don’t let capitalism win.

Worst part of being single is the Uber ride home alone after going out this shit stings 😂

i woulda became Darth Vader if i lost her too

We all need something to look forward to, which is why I order things online.

It’s my bedtime but here I am Twitter heheheh

I still can’t believe I saw Morgan before he threw that chair off the roof

The pain of sucking in tears while getting a spray tan is DIFFERENT hahahaha

I love quesadillas