✍️ We are delighted to announce that Lloyd Kelly will join the club on 1 July 2024. Welcome to Newcastle United, Lloyd! 🙌

Just a reminder Anthony Gordon, the BEST left winger in the Premier League last season got a grand total of 4 minutes football the entire tournament. Nice one Gareth👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

Bet they swapped plates after this photo was taken

So in the last 48 hrs: - 17 year old killer confirmed not Muslim, despite twitter claiming otherwise. - Man carrying knife at riots wasn’t Muslim, despite twitter claiming otherwise. - Algerian boxer not trans, despite twitter claiming otherwise Misinformation on this app

We discuss Elon Musk on the podcast tomorrow. Someone who knows him explained that being rich and famous and quite powerful isn’t enough. What he really wants is for people to think that he is really funny. And it really makes him angry that nobody does. So he keeps trying

Sandro ole, ole, ole 🎶🥰

Never forget when Andy Carroll was at Reading and he scored two of the best goals he’ll ever score in the space of a few minutes… And they were BOTH disallowed 🤣🤣

Nobody does it like us.

I hope that one day you understand how much I like you Newcastle United 🖤🤍3️⃣9️⃣

How Musk broke Twitter and helped elect Trump (Location: Tesla European HQ, Amsterdam)

If it’s true about the 75k stadium btw they’re delusional. People were walking out 10 mins early when we were 3 nowt up in a cup quarter final rather than clap the lads away. We’ve got about 30,000 hardcore match going fans. The rest are just there as it’s routine.

We did it better... hope this helps 🖤

The culprit:

WE ARE NEWCASTLE UNITED CARABAO CUP WINNERS #wedontdoquiet

Missed this and now pissing myself at longstaff nearly choking to death on a bit of confetti 😂 #NUFC

Welcome to Newcastle, Anthony! ⚡️ We have completed the signing of winger Anthony Elanga from Nottingham Forest on a long-term deal.

Thank you for everything, Newcastle United 🖤🤍

Can you imagine being some poor kid pumped full of drugs, waking up to a strange noise, and what you see is a horse, but the wrong size, and it looks like a nurse is trying to feed it a piano?