maybe the best pic of me

“It’s important to remember that your 16yo self would be proud of you” idgaf what a virgin who failed her road test 4 times thinks of me

When a clearly ran through man only likes your thought tweets and none of your thot ones…ok so I’m funny but chopped I see how it is

Ending the male loneliness epidemic by buying my millennial guy friend a $4 beer and shot combo

Editing my resume

Reply guys for Zohran

I may not be “using my degree,” but thank god college acquaintances inform me a tweet I made about diet coke while depressed and living at home last winter has made it to the instagram explore page on accounts with names like 100hecks

elon musk suffering through his first homoerotic friendship breakup

You don’t need ayahuasca you need to listen to the idler wheel at the botanical garden on the eighth day of your period in 90 degree weather

Thank god Cora trained me out to the Bronx as friends

Stop making fun of me for smoking light blue spirits,, we have too long of a history for me to change now. It’s my equivalent of the boring college bf you marry

Hope I never get horny enough that I have to pretend to concern myself with who “Tyrese Halliburton” is

Microdosing 2012 by adding a push-up bra to my work outfit and calling it a going out look

Girl ok

This kind of happens in the edible woman by margaret atwood

Ok yay

Last night was an instagram reels crowd work clip with 2,000 likes

bendell werry 🌲 c Woman detected Opinion rejected

this + my best friend >>>

they say Mayor Frey touch minneapolis that’s why it’s quiet