Bacon egg+cheese from the bodega

He just tosses over a velvet pouch full of gold coins and says “that should suffice”

I milked this so hard. Didn’t go to school for 3 days after cuz I was in my mom’s ear like “my elementary school could be the next target. I’m scared. I should stay home to be safe”

We had a “no Oddjob” rule in my house growing up. Gotta keep a level playing field!

Today it was a giant Kangaroo costume

Three things in life are certain. Death, taxes, and white girls putting Ys in names where they don’t belong

I’ma hit her with that pipe, call her Nancy Kerrigan

You say “Love of Rock” wig, I say Daemon Targaryen wig

#RIP #IYKYK

I’m tryna see somethin In your opinion, what is the superior lunchable? 🧐🤔

I don’t care who wins the belt tonight, THIS is my champion ❤️

Bobby’s first match was a jousting tournament

Can postmates get rid of the “active carts” feature please? I don’t need to be reminded of how many times my fat ass logs on to build fantasy food orders

Same energy

Every promo he cuts feels like he sat down to write it and asked himself “what would a freshmen in high school say to make his classmates think he’s really cool?”

Because it’s a cult

I’m calling these “The MJFs”

AEW fans be like:

Just gunna leave this here:

Best wrestling comeback of 2022 “My goosebumps won’t go down boys”