side dick best dick and the type that get you allllllll preggy God wouldn’t make it that way if it wasn’t right 🤷

If Guillermo wasn’t a juicy buttery lobster claw to the pancake assed middle aged TLC fan he wouldn’t have half of this support

Where’s your dad?

The fireplace needs wood to huff smoke out its chimney. smoke that touches the sky. your stupid fucking wooden branches can reach tall but they can’t touch the fucking sky you fucking asshole become ash

that’s it i’m going back to 90 day fiance twitter and abusing the shit out of them nothing good comes from all this rage

when I was sixteen my boyfriend gifted me an electric razor for christmas to avoid ingrown hairs and since then it hasn’t been a problem for me so thank you

1 time a guy took me 2 chipotle and back then I was a chipotle novice so I wanted to fill a bowl with queso cheese & meat to make nachos and for some reason this disturbed him so bad that he kept looking at it and gagging and eventually was like Can you please throw that away?

I was literally born food to wall mother fucker

i’d rip a deers antlers off with my teeth for that grinch meal

Here I’ll bite women be posting themselves smoking a black and mild and a bowl at 10 am like they Popeye and wonder why they built like Bluto WRONG TYPE OF GREENS SWEETIE

my dad said every street in Bosnia got a king von

Said Yeah I Know what gloving is and my siblings both cheered Bro Is Tapped!!!!!! Feels damn good.

exes be feliz navidad as fuck i wanna wish you a merry christmas ass

I was always a creative

yall ever fw someone then you think about how they probably reacted when pink pony club came out then you don’t anymore

people who enjoy kettle cooked chips were alligators in past lives as alligators consume stone that serve as ballast to aid in deeper diving . . . weigh your belly down heavy as stone and wear jade stone as jewelry your spirit is disgruntled

You have in manner with your sinful hours made a divorce betwixt his queen and him

Working at a restaurant means that your coworker is eventually going to tell you about their amazing idea to open up their own place called something like Wings and Things where everything is made from scratch

foreign people be like uhh how you say water? but still gonna go Vinished vith my VVoman cause she couldn’t help me vit my mind!

imagine the guy you love hearing that Olivia Dean instagram reels song that goes like Come be the man I need.. and thinking Yep That’s Me and smiling smugly to himself