"Are you missing 3 brown cows?"

"In search of chicken smoker"

"Pig canisters for sale"

"ISO my septic tank"

"Iso miniature pug puppy"

"A young German visitor misplaced his Amish straw hat in or near Triangle Park recently." H/t Markylynn Hames

"Due to Hawkin's Amusement's inability to provide the required level of insurance the Carnival has been cancelled."

"feel free to contact this slumlord"

"Question about Pinterest"

"Thick air, terrible smell?"

"Looking for some seasoned horse manure for my garden - some that's been around a while."

"Two sows and a boar for sale. All 3 for $600.90 or best offer."

"I have a bunch of adult diapers and pads and liners to put in briefs and several hair things..."

"Muskrats: when is the season to trap those suckers? If now, anyone interested?"

"Merry merry, neighbors! Ma forgot the horseradish. So, I'm putting it out there: can we borrow a cup of horseradish?"

"Does anyone have a vacuum I can have?"

"I did not see the Woman march against Bill Clinton and his Cigar in the Interns Cooters"

"Free toilet in the curb. White, water saver. Works, but didn't flush large solids well (takes multiple flushes). First come, first serve."

"Can anyone tell me where I can take glasses"

"I have three roosters in need of good home."