the rest is still unwritten pimp

POV: you're about to watch A Bug's Life for the very first time and this masterpiece comes on

that guy said “oh look, it’s Couch Fucker” like they were put on this earth to say it

Being a girl is crazy cause I can tell the date by the fact that I'm getting weepy over how lovely the Sound of Music is

The chorus at the end of All Things End, retweet if you agree

If I were from a state where the electrical grid collapsed every time it got too hot or cold, I’d shut the fuck up here.

i was gonna brush up against you like a cat but whatever bro

Hear me out. Auntie Anne’s at a festival.

house music was designed to be HORNY

heard a kid laughing outside and it interrupted her sleep so now she hates children experiencing joy

If you have a scale in your bathroom I will weigh myself and unfortunately it will kill the vibe

I don't have kids and this is exactly what I want my tax dollars going to.

girls be like “i needed this” and it’s just a zeds dead show

People will look you dead in the eye and tell you to "have respect" for a person who has spent their entire career making sure YOU don't get to live an equal and happy life, or live at all.

A Hindu Gujarati Indian guy using Scandinavian pagan heaven to honor a Midwestern Protestant Christian

JD Vance is the best proof pregnant women shouldn't smoke crack