Please don’t go Skilling WGN TV News

Shout out to all the observant Jews shutting down their phones on Shabbat. I once put my phone in airplane mode and had a full on panic attack.

Tell me you’re Jewish without telling me you’re Jewish: My mom ended our phone conversation with “feel better.” I’m not sick.

Someone should start a brunch for gay Jews called Schmears for Queers

I think it should be illegal for Jews and Italians to have kids together. No child should have to grow up knowing a full carpet of back hair awaits them.

Please stop assuming I know your one Jewish friend from college. I mean… Obviously, I do know them. But still.

The more anti-Semitism I come across the more I wish Jewish space lasers were a real thing.

Not sure if you know this but the “ish” in Jewish stands for: I’m So Hungry.

Time for a WWE appreciation post. Last night #WrestleMania40 made me feel like I was 12 years old again. And honestly that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

Absolutely. Think about how much more pizza I could eat.

I’ve been in Miami for an hour and everyone I’ve met has the last name Weinstein or Hernandez. This city is one giant law firm.

I personally want to thank Alex Edelman for his one man show. It’s given my mother something to talk about other than why I’m not married.

Tell Me You’re Jewish Without Telling Me You’re Jewish: My mom bought me a cake to celebrate my weight loss.

When I was a kid my mom made me go with to see the movie “Death Becomes Her.” I’m 80% sure that’s what made me gay. Anyway… #HappyMothersDay

The only religious story I believe is that the Jews wandered the desert for 40 years. It’s called Scottsdale.

Remember the good old days when presidential candidates argued about golf?

Hey Carmen DeFalco Silvy we’ll save a seat for you.

A friend of mine just referred to a shiva as the “funeral after party” and I’ve never been more hyped to be a Jew in my entire life.

One of the perks of being Jewish is getting out of plans by telling people you observe the Sabbath.

It’s time to win. Silvy 🐻⬇️ #BearDown