Alright Jeopardy, how many times did Ken have to read "Assizes" before he said it correctly? Be honest.

x.com/sir_benedictx/…

This restaurant offers three spice levels and an alias to use while committing international espionage.

"We'd like to thank you all for coming tonight... well most of you." x.com/Phil_Lewis_/st…

Very curious what critics were expecting from a movie called Nuns on the Run…

Woke up to two feet of water in my basement. Put on a Ben Shapiro video and it dried out in about ten minutes.

"Winn-Dixie": A phrase said often in the south, but never during the Civil War.

Ron DeSantis is out here pre-campaigning with some shit that sounds like it came directly out of the Veep writers’ room. #MakeAmericaFlorida #HowIsThisReal

This interview should have been named “A Thoughtless Person’s Head,” after the place where it was conceived.

What’s a movie where the cast — even down to one-scene and even one-line day players — was perfectly in sync? Just, everyone got the vibe and knew the assignment? These are my top three:

See, you got it backwards? You should have used your hand for the first thing, and insisted the second thing be left to a professional.

We’ll save you a seat.

Oh no. Someone’s been subpoenaed… x.com/mcdonalds/stat…

Mowing today. Wish I could bottle the scent

Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matt LeBlanc, and Lisa Kudrow have released a statement about their beloved co-star and friend Matthew Perry: "We are all so utterly devastated by the loss of Matthew. We were more than just cast mates. We are a family. There is

(14) OAKLAND STUNS (3) KENTUCKY TO ADVANCE 😱 The Golden Grizzlies pull off the shocking upset over the Wildcats 80-76 👏 #MarchMadness

HOW in the monkey humping ball sack is Turbo Edition not in the lead?!?

Since we're sharing favorite Conan clips...