A coworker asked me to check if her pants had a period mark on them #ally

How do you suck dick when you have a stuffy nose?

You know that feeling when you’re closer to one sibling more than the other

A couple of my students were asking me if I had a girlfriend, I said absolutely not, and I shit you not one student said “oh so you’re single? That’s nice. Self-love is important too” HE’S SEVEN??

If @/wallice has 100 fans, I’m one of them. If she has 1, I’m it. If she has none, that means I’m dead

Sometimes I like to just match with people and tell them “ok werk” if I’m not attracted to them but they’re giving

Ciara: If it’s a 9-5 or shaking your ass Me: if it’s not a thyroid shaking your ass

Honestly I have to say, shout out to my white friends. They’re so genuinely not weird at all. They’re not the “I hate white people” whites and I don’t have to explain racism to them. They just get it. They’re the homies for real

Moments I’ve had unexpected existential crises: Thinking about how long my cat will live and thinking I’ll probably be 35 by the time he dies Looking at my collection of pens and pencils and thinking I’ll never use them all up before I die

I just beat Sea of Stars and I have no idea why people loved it so much

I’m betting my life that Fig somehow made Gilear a warlock patron and gets yogurt powers through him

When you and your best friend assume the other is autistic >>>>> @monumentaljew

Okay, finished tweeting all my drafts. Goodbye forever 😘

*ignore this* I entered the MISCAST24 Lottery for $32 tickets on TodayTix! Tap here to enter: todaytix.com/nyc/shows/2824…

Had one episode and it was one of the greatest things to air on television

Dropout Twitter, I have one to two tickets for Dimension 20’s show at Madison Square Garden on Friday at 8 p.m. they’re in row 1 of section 325. Selling them for exactly the price we got them for (97.20/ticket). Will transfer through Ticketmaster. Dm or reply if you’re interested

I want Kori “Cameos are open” King to go on all stars and do “demonic Betty Bop” as her snatch game character

#korikingdom I’ve been off Twitter for all of May to catch up to all stars 10, how many Kori variations did I miss? Kori “Cameos are open” King

RuPaul if she were in Oz: guess who’s back in the house, heels clock ticking about!

Call my pussy Elphaba the way it be thropping