Guys it isn’t funny anymore, non stop farts for over 36 hours now

Showering instead of wiping…. Cbtm

8 hours of defensive driving training makes me want to drink a handle of ever clear before taking the wheel!

Been so stressed I found my first ever grey hair! Sounds like this guy needs a liquid dinner tonight

Need advice for a “friend of mine”, what’s the best way to get rid of a plus sized female coworker? How would one dispose so much mass?

Straight up plagiarized an entire final paper using cutting edge ai technology! Thanks Snapchat for my new pal

Milk was definitely a little sour in the cereal this morning, scared for what might come next

The lord is guiding me, took the wrong turn to get home and ended up the in Culver’s parking lot

Watching my mom pack food for a week long cabin trip is like watching a schizophrenic play telephone (it’s a fucking shitshow)

I love getting fishing spots from the local meth addict at 8am!

Big weekend, hopefully the boys can get some sloppenheimer!

Genuinely regretting my decisions rn, beers + Tbell breakfast x2 Zyns =AGRESSIVE brown

Has anyone actually shot their first load yet? Mine still just dribbles blood

Why won’t she just play bop-it with my dick

Fuck yeah I’m a grown man watching surfs up by myself

Shit can hammered in the Taco Bell drive through, nobody knows the truth

Been treating my body like the Gaza Strip this weekend

Finally took a nap where I didn’t wake up scared, sweaty or confused, kinda cool if you ask me