Marriage = Betting someone half your shit that you'll love them forever.

@Anais_Lea90 I don't have, any issues with commas....

Nothing pisses me off anymore....and that is really pissing me off !

@AllieTheOtherMe Wait till you poop... you are probably gonna feel like a soft serve machine ;)

@MeaganD66 Not at all... :p

@DerbyGirlSierra :)

@DerbyGirlSierra Why so nervous ?

@DerbyGirlSierra Men make you nervous ? : p

@DerbyGirlSierra *nods head* the good ones are always taken...

@DerbyGirlSierra Does this one still have coffee with someone if asked ?...

I'm no gynecologist....but I know a cunt when I see one.

Why do porn sites have a "Share to Facebook" button? Who watches porn and thinks,"You know who'd really enjoy this? My family and friends.

Women forgive and forget but always make sure you don’t forget that they forgave you and forgot about it.

I wish i was a girl coz then i'd be able to use the "I want you in me" jokes for the delicious food i eat....

You don’t know awkward until you go in for a hug and she stretches her arm out for a handshake so you’re forced to hug her hand.

Men that say women belong in the kitchen say it because they don't know what to do with her in the bedroom ;)

You search for one thing, just one time..... but Google Ads just won't shut up about it !

My girlfriend is now mad at me because I didn’t know why she was mad at me.

Boobs....because you cannot motorboat personality.

Interesting how the Seahawks are now "World" champions in "American" Football... #nfl #football #Broncos #seahawks #superbowl