yo it’s actually good as hell and cool to have stress dreams every day for a week straight so that’s going well for me.

Brain Bad. work Bad. bad work make brain bad worse.

Joe Biden, heroically, has called off a second air strike in Syria when he found out that could upset the girl reading this 🥺

“Capitalism breeds innovation!” innovation under capitalism: “yo, if I don’t eat breakfast, I’ll be able to save some extra money to potentially pay some bills on the debt I got when I was 18 that is mathematically impossible for me to pay off”

in case anyone has it confused, using bombs is pretty much the exact opposite of how to “stabilize” something. and that’s pretty much the only thing the US has done to the Middle East for most of my life, through multiple presidents.

Heard joke once: man goes to doctor. Say he’s depressed. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, “Treatment is simple. Cars 2 is playing in theaters. Take this delicious can of beans and go enjoy the film.”

wish I could feel the pure, unadulterated joy I felt when the news broke that Trump had COVID. that was a top tier feeling

they should invent a Tenga Egg for pissing

I hope Tom Hanks’s son keeps this up and slowly moves all white boys left. “Another rule for White Boy Summer: none of us are free until we’re all free. we are stronger together and All is for All. better things are possible, namsayin? also, no more wearing shoes without socks”

my Mom sent this to my family group chat and all I could think of was “damn shawty, ok!”

remember that time Kamala Harris tried winning cool Millennial Points in the primaries by lying about how she smoked weed in college and how a few weeks ago the Biden Admin fired every staffer who admitted to having smoked weed? most progressive ticket in history, baayyybeee

I barely use this twitter account anymore but I’ve been streaming a bunch and my girlfriend and I are getting drunk and playing Mario 64 and chatting with homies tonight if you want to come hang and call King Bob-Omb and imperialist fascist with us

selling a goatse NFT. serious offers only. willing to trade for a tubgirl NFT of equal or greater value

whoops. I stopped using this account as much because it was just the void I would use to scream about political topics and injustices and then (unsurprisingly) things got way worse and I’ve just started doing that from my other account anyway 🙃 anyway Free Palestine

kind of shocking that the Biden that kept biting people in the White House and then died within a year WASN’T Hunter or Joe.