her: “are you even listening to me?” me: “yeah” what’s really going on in my head:

2k16 was a wild year in my dms

Tell me why my ass is tired 24/7 when i dont even do shit.

morning anxiety kicking off the day

*after she likes 3 pictures in a row* me in her DMs:

Its 2019 and yall still drinking milk 🤢

Back home i’m grown now, this city’s my throne now

Fuck anyone who made any woman feel insecure about themselves.

If you come out legs first at birth, you wore your mom as a hat.

*hits curb and swerves* her: “oops hehehe” me:

Working 9 to 5 daily is a challenge for my mental health

People are fucking annoying

when your girl’s driving in the far left lane on the highway and your phone says “in 800 feet take this exit”

someone please knock me the fuck out